What Is Back-to-School Anxiety?
Back-to-school anxiety is the stress, fear, or worry children often feel when returning to school after the holidays. It can affect children of all ages, from those starting reception to teenagers preparing for exams.
Common triggers include:
- Worries about leaving parents or carers.
- Academic pressures such as homework, exams, or new subjects.
- Friendship concerns like fitting in or facing bullying.
- Adjusting to a new routine.
- Transitioning to a new school or year group.
Understanding these causes is the first step in helping your child cope with back-to-school nerves.
Signs Your Child May Be Struggling
Children don’t always say, “I feel anxious.” Instead, anxiety often shows through:
- Frequent stomach aches or headaches on school mornings.
- Difficulty sleeping or nightmares.
- Irritability, clinginess, or tearfulness.
- Refusal to wear their school uniform or get ready.
- Appetite changes or skipped meals.
- Repeated reassurance-seeking (“Will anyone sit with me?”).
Spotting these signs early allows parents to offer reassurance before worries spiral.
8 Ways Parents Can Support a Child with Back-to-School Anxiety
- Start Gentle Conversations
Begin talking about school a week or two before term starts. Ask open questions like:
- “What are you most looking forward to?”
- “Is there anything you’re nervous about?”
Validate their feelings by saying: “I can see you’re worried. Let’s think of some ways to make it easier.”
- Reintroduce School Routines Early
A predictable routine reduces stress. Adjust bedtimes, wake-up times, and meals gradually in the final weeks of summer. Lay out uniforms, school bags, and packed lunches the night before to create calm mornings.
- Build a Positive Picture of School
Remind your child of past positives, favourite lessons, fun clubs, or friendships. If they’re starting at a new school, check if you can visit in advance or explore the website together. Familiarity helps reduce uncertainty.
- Teach Simple Anxiety-Relief Tools
Practical strategies help children manage feelings in the moment:
- Breathing techniques: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale for 6.
- Grounding exercise: Notice five things they see, four they touch, three they hear.
- Comfort object: A small token in their pocket can provide quiet reassurance.
- Model Calm and Confidence
Children mirror their parents’ emotions. If you appear stressed, they’ll absorb it. Keep your tone calm: “I know this feels tough, but I believe you can handle it.”
- Create Connection Points
Little rituals can make school feel less overwhelming. Write a note for their lunchbox, invent a special goodbye handshake, or agree on a question you’ll ask after school. These “anchors” give children something steady to hold onto.
- Communicate with Teachers
If worries seem persistent, speak to the school. Teachers and pastoral staff are used to helping anxious pupils and can offer support like:
- A buddy system.
- Quiet spaces for breaks.
- Extra check-ins during the day.
- Know When to Seek Extra Help
Normal back-to-school jitters usually fade after a few weeks. But if anxiety affects sleep, appetite, friendships, or attendance, it may be time to seek extra support. Speak to your GP or speak to a councillor.
Final Thoughts for Parents
Supporting a child with back-to-school anxiety isn’t about removing every challenge. It’s about walking alongside them, offering reassurance, and equipping them with strategies to manage their feelings.